I now live one block from a dildo store.

We’ve been in our new swanky, trendy, and awesome beach apartment for about a week now. We are just starting to settle in and explore the neighbourhood. Being on the 9th floor, I do most of my exploring with a telescope and binoculars, you know, to keep a low profile. Pretty much I like to spy on people so imagine my delight when I spotted the Totally Adult store just down the road. Now I can monitor the area for perverts and post their pictures on That’s Not Funny because hey, that’s just the kind of guy I am. haha

Even better though is that I’ll have easy access to a wide variety of tools of perversion, as it were. You never know when you are going to need a blow up love doll or a few gallons of grape flavoured lube. This is the sort of stuff that you don’t need very often but you are damn glad to have it when you do. Think about the last time you needed a 14″ double ender and all you could muster up was your boring little 6 incher. Yay. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of frustration I don’t need. Thanks to a bit of serendipity, I no longer have to worry about these sorts of problems.

What’s really cool about having an adult shop in the ‘hood is that now we locals all have something in common. All of our perversions are catered to and nobody feels left out. It’s quite okay to ask your fellow Caloundran how their anal bead collection is going or to enquire about their cock rings or nipple clamps.

“Hey Charlie, how’s that new penis pump working out?”

“Just dandy, thanks for asking!”

Totally Adult (Caloundra) is located at 6 Bulcock Street, about one block from our apartment. Their hours are:

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday – 9 to 9

Thursday, Friday, Saturday – 9 to 10

Sunday 10 to 6

My guess is that the shorter hours on Sunday are to allow employees and customers alike time to go to church or attend evening family functions. I monitor the front door and photograph suspicious characters at random times throughout the day.

There is plenty of on-street parking most days but during the summer it can be busy and parking can be hit or miss. Totally Adult is near the beach so you can make a full day of it.

PS

Interestingly enough, there is a pizza shop about 50′ from the adult shop. There is a pepperoni joke here somewhere but I can’t quite muster it tonight. I will give it some thought. (Okay, here’s a stolen line from a Cheech & Chong record I heard in my misspent youth… “Hey Lady! Here’s your pizza! Zzzzzipppp! And here’s your pepperoni!)