It’s a shame but there are still no jobs for comedians around here. I check every so often and there is nothing. Ever. That’s why I became a vibrator salesman. It hasn’t been too lucrative so far but I have a good feeling about it. I’m going to press...

Okay, first off, I have a crush on Taylor Tomlinson but I’m married so don’t tell my wife! I like Taylor’s sense of humor (humour if you live here in Australia) because she’s just cheerful and I like her delivery and how she interacts with the audience. Here is...

I live in a swanky beach apartment on the Sunshine Coast in Australia. It’s nice, we’re very fortunate. One of the perks of living here at the beach is that there are plenty of women in bikinis and if you know me, then you know that’s one thing I...

Don Rickles is one of my all time favourite comedians and I could listen to Hello Dummy! all day long. It’s great. People nowadays are too touchy for it but I don’t care, I love it. This record turns up in junk shops and used record stores pretty regularly...

Most of the people in my immediate circle are quite prosperous. Good jobs, good businesses, houses, cars, high end prostitutes, all the good stuff you get when you find something and really commit to it. But me? I don’t mean to brag but I’ve been fired at least 40...

I’ve struggled my entire life trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I’ve had dozens of jobs, 40 or 50 at least I think, and I’ve been fired from most of them. I don’t say that to brag, just letting you know where...

Last night as I was writing in my diary, a very hilarious joke about heroin popped into my head. In fact, it was so hilarious that I figured I’d remember it forever so there was no need to write it down. Now today, 24 hours later, the joke is...

Last night we were approved to be a Vibrators.com affiliate. This means that every time you order a vibrator by clicking a link from this site, we will make a commission. This commission does not affect what you would pay, it just helps me get rich. But why vibrators?...

I’ll use these someday, just not sure where or how yet but they are hilarious so I’ll put them here for now. “Company’s billion dollar collapse blamed on $30 logo” “Global economy based solely on minimum wage” “Christmas shopping ruined by Christmas” “Norway apologises for global rat infestation.  ‘We...

So my girlfriend travels a lot, you know, on business.  She always brings something home… a t-shirt or maybe a souvenir spoon, something like that.  But last week was the best.  She was gone for a month to Europe, came home and surprise, surprise… herpes!...