Top 10 Benefits of Schizoaffective Disorder

You might think that having something so fearsome sounding would be quite terrible. It can be. It fucks with every part of your life and eventually, you are left with nothing – no friends, no family, no money, no job, no home – nothing. This is why people end up on drugs and sleeping under bridges or thrown into jail. They can’t cope with it. In America, it can be virtually impossible for the poor, especially the working poor, to afford psych meds. Some are hundreds of dollars a month. My Abilify injection is $380 here and $2800 in America. This is what happens when you put drug companies in charge of patient care.

Here in Australia, we are blessed with a great healthcare system that doesn’t let the insurance companies dictate who gets what and how much it will cost. No, everyone chips in 2% of their pay and then everyone is covered. Not too hard.

Anyway, it’s not all bad. Here is a list of my Top 10 Favourite Things About Schizoaffective Disorder

10. Don’t worry about money, you won’t have any!
9. Forget about college and fancy book learnin’, your head can make up any facts it needs!
8. When it comes to business, there are no dumb ideas. Wanna buy a jackalope?
7. Don’t worry if you can’t get (or keep) a job, there are plenty more where those came from.
6. No need to worry about sleep, you will be screaming into the abyss until the Valium kicks in.
5. Suddenly, all those Bigfoot encounters make sense.
4. Your pharmacist will name a child after you.
3. Secret: Locked wards, baby! (Trust me, you’ll dig it.)
2. The realisation that yes, you can use your psychic powers to communicate with hermit crabs.
1. Talking dogs!