Shitty careers I’ve had.

I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been fired about 35 or 40 times. Maybe more. I’ve forgotten how many, actually. Just too many to keep track of.

Generally speaking, I’d be working or goofing off or whatever when suddenly…

“Uh, Rich, can I see you in the office for a minute?”

This is the one sentence that is a sure sign that I’ll be out of a job. Been there, done that. Knowing what was about to happen, my “fuckit” lines would just sort of leak out…

“I guess I’m finally getting that raise!”
“Let me guess, I’m being promoted!”
“Before you say anything, yes, you can take my photo for employee of the month!”

But I would just get fired instead. Imagine that.

Interestingly enough, not once did I ever think about going back and shooting the place up. One time a girl I worked with thought I had shot everyone, but I hadn’t. More on that in another post. haha

I’ve also run countless businesses into the ground, some more spectacularly than others, more on that in a different post. Let’s just say that comedy is my last, best chance at having a real career. If this doesn’t pan out I will just get a job tearing tickets at the movie theatre down the street and be content with that. (I actually have experience as a ticket ripper, one of my better jobs and I did not get fired. Maybe I could do it again.)